A celebratory backyard dinner party was winding down when an intruder pointed a gun at the head of a 14-year old guest, and subsequently, at the heads of other guests. "Give me your money, or I'll start shooting," he demanded. The situation was getting incredibly tense, when one of the guests did something simple, yet extraordinary. Watch what happens when a customary script is flipped.


 Your Name: Email:
  • Anne


  • Ethen

    In so many ways this was a story of transformation. Seeking the common ground of celebration, invitation the intruder to join in, surprise, recognition of a real need, the intruder asking asking for it, forming a community of support to provide for that need, making a human connection, caring begetting caring in the intruder. It seems like a new complimentary behavior replaced the one of fearful response and shaming; celebrating and enjoying a moment together became the new complimentarity, rather than the reflexive response to a threat and attempted robbery.

  • Kristin Pedemonti

    We all want to be invited in, to feel like we belong. We wish to be seen and heard and accepted. <3 "Can I get a HUG?" Yes, yes yes. We just want to be loved. (I never leave home without my Free Hugs sign because you never know when someone might be in need of a hug) Here's to being kind even when it seems like a crazy thing to do. Here's to us all trying non-complementary behavior.

  • Ann

    If you need a ride my friend and I will be happy to take you.

  • Marsha Nelson,Ph.D.

    I am going to use this concept in a workshop training for Police Officers. Thanks,

  • Pearl

    The woman's intuitive response reminds me of Larry Dossey MD's thoughts on the "Consciousness of One." All human beings are connected; this woman tapped into it. The power of love.....Thank-you

  • Michael

    The individuals in the story did not try to attribute this to a scientific theory-was it something that's explainable or work of divine intervention? Emotional first aide-and being someone's Ally in tough times- can save lives-And demonstration the passion of love

  • Wanda

    That love is all powerful and all encompassing. This man clearly needed love. That they were willing to give their love to this scary person. He needed to belong and be accepted.

  • Merryl Reardon

    Realising that our quick responses can be the same side of the coin we avoid. This simple gesture is full of love and wisdom.

  • Deepak

    Thank you . Great Learning .

  • sanjay dhar

    the ability of the woman to see beyond the hostility and danger of the situation, to the possibility of a connect with the decent core of the burglar and the willingness to accept him and treat him with dignity is amazing. the explanation about non-complementarityin the later part helps to understand why it worked, but the amazing part is the lady did it intuitively-that strength of character is inspiring. Just wonderful- made my day and made me revisit my anger and hostility at some situations in a different light.

  • Jayendra Shah

    Yes This video is great example and inspiration for us to just spread and give love and compassion irrespective of what comes our way. If only half of the people develop this, other half will automatically change and we all will have a luxury of living in harmonious and non violent world. Simply superb.

  • Kristof

    The universe loves you,God loves you.This is excellent story. When somewhere in the universe there is surplus of something the universe(God) sends its agents to balance it,for the sake of the whole the universe out of love sends an animal,microbe,germ,hungry men,thieves armies etc just to make sure the creation is at its best form ........Recognizing that all pervading Law creates peace,,,,,,going against it makes sad story.

  • SJM

    The courage of the woman who offered him a glass of wine was inspiring. What an intuitive thing to do. We ALL want to feel like we belong and sometimes it can be the smallest of gesture. However, in this situation it takes a lot of courage to reach out to possibly an unknown consequence.

  • Ankit

    Superb. It was very educational to me.

  • Anne

    Hearing another way -- releases some fear and anxiety. Reminds us of humanity in each of us. The other is not an other.

  • Page 1

  • National Public Radio's Invisibilia is a podcast that interweaves narrative storytelling with scientific research that will make you see your life differently.
  • Read an example of non-complementary behavior by a Danish town that helps young Muslims turn away from ISIS.
  • Family therapist Virginia Satir famously said: “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” Give lots of hugs today.

Recent Pledges On ...

Related Videos