Why do we waste so much energy looking for someone to blame when something doesn't go our way? Dr. Brené Brown provides us with valuable insight into how the constant search for blame limits the meaningfulness of our relationships. Brené Brown is a highly respected researcher on the subject of vulnerability. She has mastered using the art of storytelling and self-disclosure to bring life and practical meaning to the data she's collected and analyzed for over 10 years. Equally important is that Brené also shows us it's okay to laugh at ourselves as we acknowledge our imperfections.


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  • Arthur Gregory

    MINE DOES THAT TOO! I day she friendly cordial and then she rehashes old shit and focuses on all the bad stuff I've done. Yes, there's been terrible moments between us! Some are really bad! But the good always weighs out the bad always! But she refuses to see that. Even if am sincerely apologetic & hold my self accountable she in turns invalidates me and say"BULLSHIT NOT TRUE"! Then I don't know what else to say or do and feel trapped

  • Aria

    There is a big and valuable message within this little film. I love that Dr. Brenē comes from the perspective of her own experience. She is sharing, not preaching. The animation is brilliant, humour is such a clever and gentle way to tackle issues that have an ugly side.

  • Fatima

    This is indeed true and we must tame ourselves to avoid this blame game. My humble comment is that video is too fast to understand for non-English people. I re-winded a number of times to full understand.

  • lori

    This is perfectly perfect!

  • mom

    Great illustration....Valuable information.

  • Dhruti

    really great work,could relate to it.it is so natural and unknown game we all play. after this video each one will rethink

  • meetakshi

    This woman seriously rocks!!! She has a point and makes it so well :) thnak you for sharing, we need these reminders all the time.

  • Fred Eisinga

    This fits so well with our Celebrate a recovery program. Great illustration.....

  • sunny

    I found it funny and meaningful. Great video!!! I loved it and very educational. thank u for sharing.

  • Hugh

    Its hard to accept responsibility for your own actions and easy to blame others.Poor Steve!

  • chipper

    Sherri.Anger is the just result of immature behavior. Maybe instead empathize with the angry and help them convert that anger to the common good. Be strong yourself to resist the logical flight response when dealing with the outraged. Separating from angry folks can weaken our personal ability to overcome hard things. Square up and fight your self doubt. It's the most important thing we do. PS dont blame yourself if some dont get the point.

  • Jp

    If I wanted a goddess on earth to worship at the alter of truths, Brene B is the one ! I am chastened.

  • Barbara

    What inspired you about this video? Truth.

  • Goldielocks

    She talks sense.

  • Nancy Thompson

    I love the animation!! It adds a whole new dimension to the message... Very creative!!

  • Christine

    I am inspired by the idea of taking responsibility... and understanding blame as pain... just very, very nice.

  • Salma

    Lately I have been feeling a hollowness inside me...my souls is looking for something and I don't know what...I feel isolated and disconnected with my old friends shallow conversations. I feel lonely as I don't know who I can connect with to have deeper conversations. This video has given me a new insight about myself and how I look and related to things that happen to me in day to day life. Thanks!

  • Barbara

    I believe we are just being asked to take a moment to acknowledge our fragile self and then either accept our own self empathy or have a conversation with another that shares a hurt that may have occurred with or without their knowing. The discharge comes from not being able to 'stand' the discomfort. It is protective. First make peace with that. We all feel fragile...even in a society that does not endorse such a thing. We all stand to feel far more connected the more we are able to realized our hurts, befriend our protector (blame/anger) and ask it to gently stand aside, so that we can meet each other in empathy and humility.

  • stephanie

    Dr Brown has helped me with both of her books that I read. I was at a meditation retreat last spring, I had my feelings hurt deeply by a teacher. I suffered that night until I watched (for the umpteenth time) her TED talk on vulnerability. I am committed to healing and this video helps me smile as I relate to how human I am.

  • Sherri

    This video and Dr. Brown's research/findings confirms a belief/intuiition that I had. Blamers are angry. I don't like to be around angry people. Empathy and acceptances are reflections of love. And THAT's what I wish to emmanate and be around. LOVE

  • Jo Ann

    It made me realize that I do place blame on others at times and I know that has to change for the positive good of myself and others! Great food for thought!

  • Susan

    The succinctness of the truth.

  • Anne

    I loved hearing that blaming gives people a semblance of having control, such that a person might actually prefer blaming him/herself than no one at all. I can relate to that! And that if we can pause at some point (preferably before blaming), we might be able to offer ourself empathy for our pain and then see if there's something we really need to speak to someone else about. One thing I would add: in my experience "holding someone accountable" can border on having an attitude of demand and the expectation for someone to apologize. There are different degrees of letting go of one's semblance of control from blaming to having a conversation with the person where their feelings and needs are as important as mine as we figure out ways to meet both (my ideal!).

  • Jane

    Realizing how common blame is and how useless and harmful - all with a smile & not feeling guilty.

  • Page 1

  • Learn more about Dr. Brené Browns insights regarding how our vulnerability is truly the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.
  • When you next find yourself feeling discomfort or anger because a situation is not going well commit to 1) practicing present moment awareness 2) not searching to blame yourself or others and 3) being empathetic and solution focused.  
  • Identify any relationships that have been impacted because you cast blame to deal with your own discomfort. Reach out and be the change by taking ownership of your actions and re-approaching the situation from a place of authenticity and empathy.

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